Walking Up to Me...

When you look in the room I stand out. Before I open my mouth a thousand assumptions are already made. Before I open my mouth I let my presence stand out. The brightest smile will make you wonder why is she so happy?

I used to think of myself as the child that nobody wanted, abandoned in the system, leaving me with no answers, no support, no future. For so many years it's like no one cared for my well-being and if they did it didn't show. I experienced hate the first time I was told at the age of 6 that I wasn't able to stay with my grandparents because they weren't able to care for all my mother's children. They choose the wrong person I thought. I'm not the bad one, I beg my grandmother not to let them take me. I apologized for everything instantly! Nothing worked and I was dragged out the front door! Although I suppressed my childhood memories opening up that Closet reminds me of betrayal, lies, abuse of all sorts, and most of all the person who wanted to smile because she's happy instead of using it for protection. It's a mask to cover the wounds, it's a mask to block negativity, it's a mask to cover the vulnerability.

When you look at me from head to toe I want you to know these things before approaching me.

I speak Wisdom  I see Change I feel Chosen  I hear Haters 

So before I give you a taste of what's it's like to be in my world do me a favor and clear your mind from the stigma of what I Am because I'm about to tell you. 

My Name is Samantha Smith & I'm 23 Years Old.