Family relationships
Sibling separation

Siblings: Partners in Crime


Sibling (noun) - A partner in crime; an individual who holds your secrets.

This is a definition I wish I would have been able to connect to.


A wise person once told me that siblings are made to walk with you your whole life. Oftentimes they outlive your parents, and usually you meet your life partner after your siblings are born. You fight with them, yet they always pick you up when you fall down. So how does this concept of sisterhood and brotherhood apply to a broken family?

My older sister is the only person who truly understands my experiences. She was there with me the first time I was taken into care, and she was there the last time I was taken into care. We went through the abuse together, we went through the moves together. We became closer than your average sister duo. The fear of packing up was reduced when I was packing with her. The monsters under my bed couldn’t hurt me so long as my sister was with me. In a sense my sister was like a mother to me. She became my best friend, my mentor, and my caretaker.

As with most relationships, we had our fights, but we learned how to get over it quickly. The first time I was separated from her, I felt like I lost a part of me. I wasn’t reunited with her for a few months. When I finally saw her again, I lost it. Sadly, things were different between us. There was a tension between us, I didn’t feel like I look at her for support anymore. She seemed more closed off.

The second time we were separated, it was partially of my own doing. When I came back, I was unable to be reunited with my siblings. I never had the opportunity to rekindle my relationship with my younger sister, and things between my older sister and myself had been even more tense. I wouldn’t say I lost my older sister, but our relationship was never quite the same.

My older sister was the one person throughout my entire life that I never feared having to lose. The first time I was separated from her was hard. The second time, traumatic. I wish that there was someone around who realized just how important she was to me and my development.

Siblings go through rough times together, and separating them takes away one of their biggest supports. I long for times with my older sister that was snatched from us. We never had the opportunity to steal each other's clothes or makeup, we never had the chance to gossip about our crushes; more than anything, I dream of a day when youth are able to stay connected, when a brother has the chance to protect their little sisters, and older sisters have the chance to tease their little brothers. Imagine not having your siblings taken out of your life. You don’t want that. So why are we doing it to our foster youth?

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