When the National Resource Center for Youth Development came to visit last week, we had a roundtable discussion on how foster children experience life in ways that aren't normal for youth that are not in care.

This was an interesting topic, because there is a lot of controversy over the definition of 'normal' and it is relative. However, when considered relatively, my experience while I was in care, was not normal. For my entire life, it was hard to feel normal when discussing and/or disclosing information about my family.

To me, that was the most striking way in which I felt different from the norm. I didn't want people to look at me with pity or disgust when I talked about the everyday habits of my family or my past.

However, no matter how much I disliked it, most people who weren't familiar with foster care or child abuse had this reaction when I gave my life story. Yet, in Seaside, with the other Session Bam All-Stars, I have found a space where my experiences are normalized.

I don't feel uncomfortable or judged when I share details about my life. Most importantly, I don't feel like I am burdening them with my struggles, because they understand and have been through a lot of similar situations and with the same rapid succession.

When I am talking about the drug use I witnessed and the violence, no one raises their eyebrows. On another note, I think that the feeling of being normal while in care isn't just limited to talking or sharing experience.

Sometimes, the difference was evident in my art and my writing. In eighth grade, my writing was so much darker and serious than my peers. It was unnerving to share the stories that I derived from picture prompts.

Social events and having friends was also challenging. What do you say to a friend who is having a sleep-over for her birthday and you can't sleep over? Most other youth just think that you are saying no, because you don't want to be their friend. They don't understand the gravity of the rules of care.

In conclusion, I am so grateful and glad that I have found a community where I can feel understood.