Entering foster care

Fear is a limitation

Me and Celeste just got done with waterpolo and we're talking about success and fear -- this conversation made alot of sense and so i thought " hey why not blog it " so i did ...

one of the biggest hindrances of people who are unhappy with their lives is the fear of failure or the fear of success also the fear of not being good enough is a factor-- these fears manifest as limitations on the activities that they will participate in and also how far they go to fulfill and finish their goals-

I have come across these fears during this internship- However i have put them aside ---becuase i have to get the job done--- Going through with my tasks - have helped me realize that they are not as hard as they seem-- and life is not as hard as it may seem neither is school!

We have a fear of the unknown because we don't know how we will perform- we measure ourselves by the standards of others- we forget to remember our potential to be resilient ---

I thought about my parents and how they aren't happy with their living situation and how they made their lives to be this way..

Yesterday i spoke extensively with my sister about our father and she described him as a black hole -- sucking all of the positive out of her and full of negativity and unhappiness--- Just a week ago-- my uncle died--- he was mowing the lawn and fell over and had a heartattack he was about 60 years old--- when he was living he was somewhat like my father-- that's why i didn't really pay mind to him -- I thought that his mind killed him-- so will my father's mind kill him-- if he doesn't get off the negative bandwagon and decide to change his way of thinking-- and i will be the one flying out ot Venezuela paying him tribute and silently crying becuase my father wasn't the man he could be and he's passed those traits of negativity down to me when i don't deserve them.

I struggle with fear

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