I struggled with my faith ever since I was a young child. My bio parents always told me about God, that I should fear Him. That He was the creator of this universe and that His son, Jesus Christ died on the cross for all of our sins. They said that God had a plan for each and every single one of us. They said that God had the whole world in His hands and that He was in control of what was going on in this world.
Then because of what my parents did to me, I hated God. I hated that He knew what was going on and He didn't punish my parents...or save me. It hurt a lot. I blamed Him for everything. I mocked Him, cursed Him and taunted other Christians.
But now I can understand the bigger picture. I can understand that my God does not want anyone to suffer. I can understand that I suffered at the hands of my parents, not the hand of God. I can understand that the only reason, the only purpose my parents could have had on this earth was to make me suffer, because look at me now.
Look how strong I have grew, look how much I am able to give back to those who are in similar situations. I understand that even though my life pretty much sucked every single second up until I was removed from the care of my bio parents, I know I would not be blogging on this website right now if I did not live the life I have. I would never have been able to be part of FosterClub. I would never have been able to know the people I know and speak to the people I have spoken to. I would probably never be able to write poetry at all. There are many things I would have never been able to do if my life didn't turn out exactly as it has.
I'm not trying to push my values or beliefs on anyone else, I'm just sharing the sense of peace I have in my beliefs, my actions and my morals. Believe whatever you would like to, who am I to tell you what you should believe in. All I am saying is that, after all is said and done, I am happy where I am at. I am happy to be a struggling Christian.