10 years

Donna Edwards's picture

My foster kids are very close even though there is a six year age difference I expect that their bond would be even stronger and that they will be caring for and supporting each other for the rest of their lives,

Sibling relationship

ericward's picture

My sister and I share a strong bond, and are still close 10+ years later. I can't imagine having been separated from her for any length of time during our childhood or missing any of the experiences we look back on (and laugh about) today. Because I am significantly older, she does depend on me to some extent (and now my wife as well) to come to for help and advice when needed. I imagine it would really add to the stress of the trauma for a foster child to also be separated from a sibling and no longer have the stability or comfort of that relationship.

Siblings

mayaward's picture

Siblings who grow up together in the same family/household would have the opportunity to remain close, sharing experiences, etc. and (hopefully) maintain this relationship into adulthood, 10+ years later and throughout their lives. In a foster care situation when parental bonds are unhealthy or broken, one would think more emphasis would be placed on keeping siblings together in order to maintain stability of that relationship. It is unfortunate that this is not always the case for whatever reason, as stated in the example of the two brothers. This was an eye opening example that shows the importance of this, and how their separation/different experiences were a huge factor in how differently they developed and learned to function as adults.

The Sibling Bond

lworm's picture

I believe that it is very crucial for siblings to remain together or at least in contact with one another throughout their time in foster care.

Siblings

Mbloodworth's picture

I would like to think that the courts would do everything to keep the siblings in touch with each other. but sometimes that doesn't just happen, but then its the job of the new family to step up and shower these children with the love a forever family.

Sibling

beverly40's picture

I can not think how things would be 10 years from now for any sibling I'm assuming it would be difficult. The bonds my 3 boys got is great it will be hard to separate them, they need to support each other.

Sibling

beverly40's picture

I can not think how things would be 10 years from now for any sibling I'm assuming it would be difficult. The bonds my 3 boys got is great it will be hard to separate them, they need to support each other.

sibling dependency

Honey1030's picture

Often times the older sibling will take on the parent/caregiver role; however, they are not emotionally capable of taking care of themselves.

sibling dependency

Honey1030's picture

Often times the older sibling will take on the parent/caregiver role; however, they are not emotionally capable of taking care of themselves.

Siblings Placed Together

tertelgirl's picture

There are rare occasions when siblings placed together does not work out for the best. We had an older sibling who would take his frustrations out on his younger brother. The older sibling was not receiving proper services when they were placed with us. We spoke out to the case workers about his aggression and needing therapy/counseling, but we were just categorized as " Maybe fostering is not for you." It was an unfortunate situation.

sibling relationships

tom18skiDecember303's picture

I think that siblings who undergo trauma together are much more resilient and can lean on each as well as know that they are not alone. I think that they can remover from those experiences much better (when not separated) than just one child.

Sibling relationship

sue01036's picture

I think that if you separate the siblings in Foster Care and they have no access to each other while growing up, they would not have a strong relationship and would not depend on each other. It is important to try to keep the kids together so they have each other.

Sibling relationship

Nursemgr28's picture

We currently have an adopted son (4 years) and his half-sister (1year) as a foster child since birth. They have two older siblings, but the grandmother refuses visits between them. I would love to connect them all together as they grow older.

Siblings in foster care

Kiaro's picture

I had fostered for two years a child that has returned to his bio family. We have a great bond and I am committed to our permanency pact. Since adopting another child, the two have become siblings at heart. By encouraging frequent visits, I believe their sibling bond will continue into adulthood. My belief is that as adoptive and foster parents we should create opportunities that will bring siblings together in the hope that lasting relationships will occur.

Strong Relationship

tamiradunn1987's picture

I would hope for my foster daughter to have a great relationship with her siblings 10 years from now. I would hope that as she's growing up both foster parents can keep the children connected. They should be able to support one another.

Love , Respect and Self Esteem.

FOLARIN's picture

I had a sibling of three for a period of two years and looking forward to adopt or have a permanent guardianship. We teach them how to care and respect each other. Bring out the confidence in them as they are as good as other kids out there and can aspire higher irrespective of any disability. Moral values tops the list of teachings inculcate in their life and I see them aspire higher in life ten years from now.

twins

dbarto44's picture

I cannot imagine what life would look like 10 years if my girls weren't connected. This bond seems incredibly important to facilitate and grow and allow each to lean on the other.

siblings

tesk87's picture

I foster siblings that were born after their 2 older siblings were already adopted by their nan and pap. We maintain a relationship with them and do something together every month. I would like to see them have a relationship in 10 years with their siblings and realize family is extended beyond the doors of our own home many times.

Ten Years Later

Lawrence's picture

I foster siblings that do not get along, always bickering. I would hope in 10 years they would have put that behavior behind them and learned to converse normally and hopefully have created some shared interests that would keep them interacting for life.

Siblings

mcoito46's picture

We adopted our daughter 5-1/2 years ago. She was separated from her siblings due to a traumatic brain injury and placed with us at 17 months of age. Her siblings were adopted by another family with whom we have become friends. We meet frequently so that they can keep in touch. She is very close to her younger brother who is just a year and a half younger than she is. He proudly announced at one of our visits that she is his sister, and he will play with her as much as he can. Even though they have not grown up in the same home, that bond is still strong. I hope we can keep them together so that they can maintain that closeness through their adulthood.

10 Years Later

markallan2's picture

The sibling bond is the only connection that some Foster children have and that should be supported fully. I would expect that they would be very connected and be more than just siblings... they are their own family.
I have friends that have fostered to adopt to siblings and the older child suffered from mental illness and the siblings should have been separated, but the CPS agency in our area kept them together despite the recommendation from their doctors, teachers, and foster parents. I have lost contact with their progress, but I assume they are still together.
I think it is important to keep siblings together, but an educated decision should be made and consider all options.

Connection

SeanL's picture

I would want them to remain close and not loose touch with one another. A siblings bond is strong and they have once been there for one another and helped each other out when times were hard. Whether they were placed together or separated they would remain in connection and talk or write to each other to strengthen their bond.

Sibling bond very important

sfin74's picture

I would want them to have an ongoing relationship and communicate daily so there is a family bond to achieve some sense of normalcy.

For Love and Support

ShaParent's picture

I would want them to have the same relationships as my brothers and sisters do...a loving and supportive one. This is why I think it is important to allow siblings to be together whenever possible.

For Love and Support

ShaParent's picture

I would want them to have the same relationships as my brothers and sisters do...a loving and supportive one. This is why I think it is important to allow siblings to be together whenever possible.

Connection

PamDV's picture

Keeping the children connected is vital. We've used facetime, had the kids write letters and used facebook to keep siblings connected. Siblings are the only ones that understand what a child has gone through. They depend on each other and support one another as they grow older.

Family Support

adevos's picture

We've had three placements where siblings were separated for various reasons. Developing a relationship with the family who is caring for the other sibling(s) is important. That includes developing a relationship with the bio-parents, as difficult as that may be. It isn't about our comfort level, but the children in our home. Knowing they may be placed back in the home, they have to maintain those relationships. It is important that all families involved are willing to support each other in turn supporting those kids who desperately need to see it.

10 Years

smittyar's picture

Keeping the sibling group together is important and a must . This is a bond that will help for their relationship. and the caseworker is to try all they can to make this happen.

Siblings

jandcsmith2007's picture

I feel like it is imperative that case workers do all they can to keep siblings apart. If a home is not available for them to live together, every effort should be made to place them as close together as possible. Children need the familiarity of having their siblings around them.

Siblings

MsNeka's picture

My 1st placement is 1of group of 5. He was placed in my home at birth but has weekly visits with his siblings. Sibling relationship is very important.

Siblings in 10 years

Ankromfamily1's picture

We are fostering 2 siblings, and I would hope they continue to have a great relationship. We also have a bio child, and if we adopt the siblings, we hope that all 3 stay close.

Sibling Bond

epowell's picture

I honestly cannot predict the future. I believe that no matter what they'll have a connection may not be the "ideal relationship", but at the end of the day still have that sibling bond. Yes distance and time can cause people to feel different, but with all the new technology it's not hard to keep lines of communition open. In ten years if they want it shouldn't be hard. Part of growing up is learning how to depend on yourself so in the future rather you connect with your siblings your still good. I do believe its important, but in all instance not easy or even possible.

Sibling bonding

bethlonghini's picture

We have two little girls that are sibling, they are very close. The older sister is developmentally delayed, although catching up quickly, she depends on her younger sister. I can not imagine their relationship changing,only growing stronger, we hope to adopt them together and can not imagine the what if, they did not get us as a family then they would of most likely been torn apart. They would not of gotten this far without each other, they challenge each other everyday to grow and fight. I think a single child has a harder time, because they do not have that extra support for help. I hope they continue to grow depend on each other and explore everything the world has to offer together.

Siblings

Chafinclan's picture

If the siblings stayed together then I would expect that they would depend on each other for that continually feeling of having someone that cares.

Relationship

julielrobinson's picture

Working in the child welfare system for 16 years I have seen how trends change. We are much more aware of the importance of keeping siblings together. It saddens me when siblings have to be separated. I would hope that all siblings would be able to have at the very least a relationship if they remain separated. Remember a relationship with your sibling is the longest relationship in life.

The importance of keeping siblings together

Croman981's picture

I think that at times older siblings try to parent their younger sibling because that's all they have. In this case the older child becomes more responsible and more mature when he/she takes on the parenthood tasks. In my personal opinion this can set them up to a better future because they learn how to take on responsibility.

Sibling Relationships

Miriammyers's picture

I have realized how beneficial these relationship are with my current foster child, whom I am in the process of adopting. He has 2 brothers and they were split up because no one would take 3. The younger 2 are together and I have the oldest of the 3. They are old enough to know what is going on and remember their biological family. I am fortunate in that the other foster family also wants to keep these relationships so we make sure these boys stay in touch. As for my son, he is much more at ease now that he knows he will get to see his brothers on a regular basis. He has also met their foster parents and knows they are in a loving, safe home, and happy.

keep children together

linneacnord's picture

More then ever I now know the importance of keeping children together. I didn't realize that children at very young ages notice the lack of their sibling being present. I am going to make sure to check if a child coming into my care has a sibling and if they do advocate for the siblings to be together in a placement.

Siblings

andrewlr76's picture

I believe it is very important for siblings to stay together and continue their bond in foster care and in permanency.

Sibling Placement

1moswalt's picture

Based on our experience with foster care, I see that it is more beneficial for children to be placed together. Under certain circumstances, it could be better if they were not. Those seem to be rare and with extreme circumstances.

Siblings - Keeping them together

1voswalt's picture

Our second placement came, but we didn't have the space for his siblings. About 6 months later, we were able to bring one of his brothers to our home. After 2 years and 8 months, we find ourselves still unable to bring their third brother to our home. This is the most upsetting thing for us because the separation is causing us to run into some hurdles. It saddens me to think that a sibling group could be separated simply because we were unable to take all 3 brothers. Had we been able to do so, their permanency being together or apart would not be in question.

We also have another child who has several siblings and we are currently unable to place him with them. He talks about them all the time. His love for them is extremely evident. I am hoping that we are able to at least bring a couple to stay with him once final decisions are made on the above case.

Siblings - Keeping them together

1voswalt's picture

Our second placement came, but we didn't have the space for his siblings. About 6 months later, we were able to bring one of his brothers to our home. After 2 years and 8 months, we find ourselves still unable to bring their third brother to our home. This is the most upsetting thing for us because the separation is causing us to run into some hurdles. It saddens me to think that a sibling group could be separated simply because we were unable to take all 3 brothers. Had we been able to do so, their permanency being together or apart would not be in question.

We also have another child who has several siblings and we are currently unable to place him with them. He talks about them all the time. His love for them is extremely evident. I am hoping that we are able to at least bring a couple to stay with him once final decisions are made on the above case.

I hope, for my foster

gobucks33's picture

I hope, for my foster daughters, who are biological sisters, that they will retain that bond throughout their life. They are only 16 month apart in age, and, we hope to adopt them so they can grow up together and retain that bond. As for their other siblings in care, who are with good friends of ours, I hope they grow up all sharing that family bond. They see each other pretty regularly, but at their young age, we are not sure if they really understand the family dynamic. It is fun to watch them together and we pray that they will all grow up with that family bond, but especially for our foster daughters, that we would be able to keep them together in our home.

I hope, for my foster

gobucks33's picture

I hope, for my foster daughters, who are biological sisters, that they will retain that bond throughout their life. They are only 16 month apart in age, and, we hope to adopt them so they can grow up together and retain that bond. As for their other siblings in care, who are with good friends of ours, I hope they grow up all sharing that family bond. They see each other pretty regularly, but at their young age, we are not sure if they really understand the family dynamic. It is fun to watch them together and we pray that they will all grow up with that family bond, but especially for our foster daughters, that we would be able to keep them together in our home.

Hopefully Siblings Forever

grncarex2's picture

The two children we have in our home, brother and sister, are ages 8 and 4. The goal has always been to keep them together. In ten years, my hope is that they will still be together. There is no way to imagine one without the other. We encourage that bond, and in our home it is a regular sibling relationship of loving, fussing, learning, helping and caring. It is a growing relationship that should never be pulled apart. It would have been devastating to separate them now, and since they have grown even closer through this trauma, it would be even more devastating to separate them later. Encouraging each other they have the ability to come out of this strong and finding an awesome support system in each other. Who better understands you then the one who went through it with you.

Sibling Pairs - keep them together

marknoah's picture

We just completed the best child placement we have had in the almost 3 years we have been doing foster care. This placement wouldn't have been as successful if we would have split up the sibling pair. They shared happiness and a bond that is special to their family. We hope this continues until they are older.

Sibling Pairs - keep them together

marknoah's picture

We just completed the best child placement we have had in the almost 3 years we have been doing foster care. This placement wouldn't have been as successful if we would have split up the sibling pair. They shared happiness and a bond that is special to their family. We hope this continues until they are older.

Sibling Bond

gretchennoah's picture

I recently upped our capacity to keep a sibling pair together and it was the best decision we made. The older sister (14) told me if they would have separated she from her younger sister (2-1/2) who she had raised from birth... that she would have run away for sure. The joy they showed being kept together helped my older foster daughter do very well in foster care (our home was a 2nd placement for her) and the younger foster sibling from sadness and loss. The little one thrived in our home and grew two sizes in 3 months. The positive foster placement for us and for them... was largely due to us keeping them together. In 10 years... I hope our older foster daughter will still have our little one under her wing. Last week they went to their biological parent's home so I may never know.

I truly understand the

kisses28318's picture

I truly understand the importance of keeping siblings together through the fostering journey because no one will truly understand what you are going through and what you have been through like a sibling who has been through the same thing. They need someone that they can cling to through a very trying and confusing time.

Horrible to have siblings to be separated

albertjeffrey27's picture

My own adoptive son was separated from his siblings. Years later, my son continues to ask about his brother but now knowing the full case of my son and his bio family, he was poorly represented by foster parents which cause the sibling brothers to be adopted by different families. One of the thousands of stories in our country but the buck needs to stop with the foster families. We need to stand and advocate to the courts when family services or case managers are acting in the wrong interest of the child. Likewise, case workers need to pay closer attention to those few foster families who really don't care for foster kids and for their best interest.

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