Notice: Forum posts will not be published until they have been approved by FosterClub staff.


vmburk's picture

I believe the sibling bond lasts forever. There is currently a rift among my adult siblings and I hate the damage it is causing!


vmburk's picture

I believe the sibling bond lasts forever. There is currently a rift among my adult siblings and I hate the damage it is causing!


Barbara-59's picture

No one will ever know the bond that siblings have unless you have a sibling and been separated. They have a family bond and its unbearable when they are torn apart but God is our creator and He created a bond in each one of us. After 10 years it could be different or maybe they'll still have the bond. You just don't know.


kjerideau's picture

I would imagine that they would be close, if the bond is there. Although unfortunately I did have a sibling group with different fathers once the baby father took him and left the sibling in foster care. I don't think in 10 yes they will be close being that they were separated while one was a baby.

A Sibling Bond

josegonzalez1011's picture

A sibling bond is something that is unbreakable; this is the person that they have been with for so many years, and separating them would be the worst choice. A sibling bond is something so strong that maybe not even us can compare to.


mariaguilen1011's picture

the worst thing for children with siblings who enter the foster care system is for them to be separated, they have a connection that is unbreakable, they help each others through the adversities life has put them in.


Nikkichapman's picture

We will soon be adopting a brother(9) and sister(8). They had never lived together before entering foster care and had no contact except maybe 1-2 times per year for a family function. It was a rocky start but after 2 years, things have improved and I hope that in 10 years they end up as close as my brothers and I are. They finally call each other brother and sister and also include our youngest addition (10 months) as their brother. Fingers crossed they continue to grow closer as they get older.


Honey1's picture

I would hope that no matter were the sibling group I have ends up at the end of their case that they are able to maintain contact. As they grow, they will be a source of comfort to each other and a source of consistency in their lives.

Siblings can be one of life's greatest gifts

yvonne3w's picture

I can't help but think of our current foster sons in response to this question. They're ages 10 and 2 right now. I want them to grow up knowing each other, spending holidays and school days and family trips together. In 10 years, the oldest will be 20 and the youngest will be 12. I hope the oldest feels like his childhood experience was enriched by having a younger brother to share important memories. I hope the youngest knows he can count on his big brother as a mentor, friend and confidant.

Sister Pair

Heidiliz77's picture

I am soon to be adopting a sister pair, and know how important it is to be able to keep them together. I also hope that should their parents have children, that they might be open to a formation of a bond for them as well.

10 years

Donna Edwards's picture

My foster kids are very close even though there is a six year age difference I expect that their bond would be even stronger and that they will be caring for and supporting each other for the rest of their lives,

Sibling relationship

ericward's picture

My sister and I share a strong bond, and are still close 10+ years later. I can't imagine having been separated from her for any length of time during our childhood or missing any of the experiences we look back on (and laugh about) today. Because I am significantly older, she does depend on me to some extent (and now my wife as well) to come to for help and advice when needed. I imagine it would really add to the stress of the trauma for a foster child to also be separated from a sibling and no longer have the stability or comfort of that relationship.


mayaward's picture

Siblings who grow up together in the same family/household would have the opportunity to remain close, sharing experiences, etc. and (hopefully) maintain this relationship into adulthood, 10+ years later and throughout their lives. In a foster care situation when parental bonds are unhealthy or broken, one would think more emphasis would be placed on keeping siblings together in order to maintain stability of that relationship. It is unfortunate that this is not always the case for whatever reason, as stated in the example of the two brothers. This was an eye opening example that shows the importance of this, and how their separation/different experiences were a huge factor in how differently they developed and learned to function as adults.

The Sibling Bond

lworm's picture

I believe that it is very crucial for siblings to remain together or at least in contact with one another throughout their time in foster care.


Mbloodworth's picture

I would like to think that the courts would do everything to keep the siblings in touch with each other. but sometimes that doesn't just happen, but then its the job of the new family to step up and shower these children with the love a forever family.


beverly40's picture

I can not think how things would be 10 years from now for any sibling I'm assuming it would be difficult. The bonds my 3 boys got is great it will be hard to separate them, they need to support each other.


beverly40's picture

I can not think how things would be 10 years from now for any sibling I'm assuming it would be difficult. The bonds my 3 boys got is great it will be hard to separate them, they need to support each other.

sibling dependency

Honey1030's picture

Often times the older sibling will take on the parent/caregiver role; however, they are not emotionally capable of taking care of themselves.

sibling dependency

Honey1030's picture

Often times the older sibling will take on the parent/caregiver role; however, they are not emotionally capable of taking care of themselves.

Siblings Placed Together

tertelgirl's picture

There are rare occasions when siblings placed together does not work out for the best. We had an older sibling who would take his frustrations out on his younger brother. The older sibling was not receiving proper services when they were placed with us. We spoke out to the case workers about his aggression and needing therapy/counseling, but we were just categorized as " Maybe fostering is not for you." It was an unfortunate situation.

sibling relationships

tom18skiDecember303's picture

I think that siblings who undergo trauma together are much more resilient and can lean on each as well as know that they are not alone. I think that they can remover from those experiences much better (when not separated) than just one child.

Sibling relationship

sue01036's picture

I think that if you separate the siblings in Foster Care and they have no access to each other while growing up, they would not have a strong relationship and would not depend on each other. It is important to try to keep the kids together so they have each other.

Sibling relationship

Nursemgr28's picture

We currently have an adopted son (4 years) and his half-sister (1year) as a foster child since birth. They have two older siblings, but the grandmother refuses visits between them. I would love to connect them all together as they grow older.

Siblings in foster care

Kiaro's picture

I had fostered for two years a child that has returned to his bio family. We have a great bond and I am committed to our permanency pact. Since adopting another child, the two have become siblings at heart. By encouraging frequent visits, I believe their sibling bond will continue into adulthood. My belief is that as adoptive and foster parents we should create opportunities that will bring siblings together in the hope that lasting relationships will occur.

Strong Relationship

tamiradunn1987's picture

I would hope for my foster daughter to have a great relationship with her siblings 10 years from now. I would hope that as she's growing up both foster parents can keep the children connected. They should be able to support one another.

Love , Respect and Self Esteem.

FOLARIN's picture

I had a sibling of three for a period of two years and looking forward to adopt or have a permanent guardianship. We teach them how to care and respect each other. Bring out the confidence in them as they are as good as other kids out there and can aspire higher irrespective of any disability. Moral values tops the list of teachings inculcate in their life and I see them aspire higher in life ten years from now.


dbarto44's picture

I cannot imagine what life would look like 10 years if my girls weren't connected. This bond seems incredibly important to facilitate and grow and allow each to lean on the other.


tesk87's picture

I foster siblings that were born after their 2 older siblings were already adopted by their nan and pap. We maintain a relationship with them and do something together every month. I would like to see them have a relationship in 10 years with their siblings and realize family is extended beyond the doors of our own home many times.

Ten Years Later

Lawrence's picture

I foster siblings that do not get along, always bickering. I would hope in 10 years they would have put that behavior behind them and learned to converse normally and hopefully have created some shared interests that would keep them interacting for life.


mcoito46's picture

We adopted our daughter 5-1/2 years ago. She was separated from her siblings due to a traumatic brain injury and placed with us at 17 months of age. Her siblings were adopted by another family with whom we have become friends. We meet frequently so that they can keep in touch. She is very close to her younger brother who is just a year and a half younger than she is. He proudly announced at one of our visits that she is his sister, and he will play with her as much as he can. Even though they have not grown up in the same home, that bond is still strong. I hope we can keep them together so that they can maintain that closeness through their adulthood.

10 Years Later

markallan2's picture

The sibling bond is the only connection that some Foster children have and that should be supported fully. I would expect that they would be very connected and be more than just siblings... they are their own family.
I have friends that have fostered to adopt to siblings and the older child suffered from mental illness and the siblings should have been separated, but the CPS agency in our area kept them together despite the recommendation from their doctors, teachers, and foster parents. I have lost contact with their progress, but I assume they are still together.
I think it is important to keep siblings together, but an educated decision should be made and consider all options.


SeanL's picture

I would want them to remain close and not loose touch with one another. A siblings bond is strong and they have once been there for one another and helped each other out when times were hard. Whether they were placed together or separated they would remain in connection and talk or write to each other to strengthen their bond.

Sibling bond very important

sfin74's picture

I would want them to have an ongoing relationship and communicate daily so there is a family bond to achieve some sense of normalcy.

For Love and Support

ShaParent's picture

I would want them to have the same relationships as my brothers and sisters do...a loving and supportive one. This is why I think it is important to allow siblings to be together whenever possible.

For Love and Support

ShaParent's picture

I would want them to have the same relationships as my brothers and sisters do...a loving and supportive one. This is why I think it is important to allow siblings to be together whenever possible.


PamDV's picture

Keeping the children connected is vital. We've used facetime, had the kids write letters and used facebook to keep siblings connected. Siblings are the only ones that understand what a child has gone through. They depend on each other and support one another as they grow older.

Family Support

adevos's picture

We've had three placements where siblings were separated for various reasons. Developing a relationship with the family who is caring for the other sibling(s) is important. That includes developing a relationship with the bio-parents, as difficult as that may be. It isn't about our comfort level, but the children in our home. Knowing they may be placed back in the home, they have to maintain those relationships. It is important that all families involved are willing to support each other in turn supporting those kids who desperately need to see it.

10 Years

smittyar's picture

Keeping the sibling group together is important and a must . This is a bond that will help for their relationship. and the caseworker is to try all they can to make this happen.


jandcsmith2007's picture

I feel like it is imperative that case workers do all they can to keep siblings apart. If a home is not available for them to live together, every effort should be made to place them as close together as possible. Children need the familiarity of having their siblings around them.


MsNeka's picture

My 1st placement is 1of group of 5. He was placed in my home at birth but has weekly visits with his siblings. Sibling relationship is very important.

Siblings in 10 years

Ankromfamily1's picture

We are fostering 2 siblings, and I would hope they continue to have a great relationship. We also have a bio child, and if we adopt the siblings, we hope that all 3 stay close.

Sibling Bond

epowell's picture

I honestly cannot predict the future. I believe that no matter what they'll have a connection may not be the "ideal relationship", but at the end of the day still have that sibling bond. Yes distance and time can cause people to feel different, but with all the new technology it's not hard to keep lines of communition open. In ten years if they want it shouldn't be hard. Part of growing up is learning how to depend on yourself so in the future rather you connect with your siblings your still good. I do believe its important, but in all instance not easy or even possible.

Sibling bonding

bethlonghini's picture

We have two little girls that are sibling, they are very close. The older sister is developmentally delayed, although catching up quickly, she depends on her younger sister. I can not imagine their relationship changing,only growing stronger, we hope to adopt them together and can not imagine the what if, they did not get us as a family then they would of most likely been torn apart. They would not of gotten this far without each other, they challenge each other everyday to grow and fight. I think a single child has a harder time, because they do not have that extra support for help. I hope they continue to grow depend on each other and explore everything the world has to offer together.


Chafinclan's picture

If the siblings stayed together then I would expect that they would depend on each other for that continually feeling of having someone that cares.


julielrobinson's picture

Working in the child welfare system for 16 years I have seen how trends change. We are much more aware of the importance of keeping siblings together. It saddens me when siblings have to be separated. I would hope that all siblings would be able to have at the very least a relationship if they remain separated. Remember a relationship with your sibling is the longest relationship in life.

The importance of keeping siblings together

Croman981's picture

I think that at times older siblings try to parent their younger sibling because that's all they have. In this case the older child becomes more responsible and more mature when he/she takes on the parenthood tasks. In my personal opinion this can set them up to a better future because they learn how to take on responsibility.

Sibling Relationships

Miriammyers's picture

I have realized how beneficial these relationship are with my current foster child, whom I am in the process of adopting. He has 2 brothers and they were split up because no one would take 3. The younger 2 are together and I have the oldest of the 3. They are old enough to know what is going on and remember their biological family. I am fortunate in that the other foster family also wants to keep these relationships so we make sure these boys stay in touch. As for my son, he is much more at ease now that he knows he will get to see his brothers on a regular basis. He has also met their foster parents and knows they are in a loving, safe home, and happy.

keep children together

linneacnord's picture

More then ever I now know the importance of keeping children together. I didn't realize that children at very young ages notice the lack of their sibling being present. I am going to make sure to check if a child coming into my care has a sibling and if they do advocate for the siblings to be together in a placement.


andrewlr76's picture

I believe it is very important for siblings to stay together and continue their bond in foster care and in permanency.

Sibling Placement

1moswalt's picture

Based on our experience with foster care, I see that it is more beneficial for children to be placed together. Under certain circumstances, it could be better if they were not. Those seem to be rare and with extreme circumstances.