Christia's picture
This discussion question is also part of a foster parent online training syllabus: Strategic Sharing.

sharing is caring

jesikad01's picture

I think sharing is important to healing and everyone should be encouraged to share when apprpriate

safe place

GooberDad's picture

I want all children in my home to know that it is a safe place to share and disscuss whatever they want. but will encourage them to only share with "safe people"

Strategic sharing...

Heibenstein's picture

Is necassary because we (people) are a collection of not just DNA but experience as well. And it his likely that other people in the world have had the exact same experience we had but have not been equipped but other experiences like we have to deal with it successfully. So through our strategic sharing they may be able to receive the information they need to help guide them through acceptance of the experience and how it can be used to equip us for success in the future.

Strategic sharing...

Heibenstein's picture

Is necassary because we (people) are a collection of not just DNA but experience as well. And it his likely that other people in the world have had the exact same experience we had but have not been equipped but other experiences like we have to deal with it successfully. So through our strategic sharing they may be able to receive the information they need to help guide them through acceptance of the experience and how it can be used to equip us for success in the future.

Sharing information

Stufflyn2's picture

There is a serious balance between trying to have the audience truly feel one's story and going too far in providing details that may hurt the presenter. As a foster parent, I would definitely follow the steps of the sharing circles model before speaking to groups of people so they (and myself) would not be negatively be affected by personal stories. It is my duty to protect myself and others under my care to be able to express themselves and make positive improvements in their lives and that of others.

Strategic Sharing

Talgen's picture

Our home is one that encourages open communication about everything. We want our kids to tell us what is making them angry and what is making them feel sad. We in turn relay to them what (as much as we can) information we have and how we can fine tune the household so that everyone feels more comfortable. Compromise is the key and being able to share openly encourages looking for a solution, in my humble opinion. It does become difficult at times because of the situation they were in, we find cracks in their 'stories' all the time, but over the past year they have slowly opened up and aren't hiding much anymore. As far as sharing with those on the outside (not immediate family) we do not as it is none of their business, unless it is someone directly involved in the kids life (teacher, counselor, etc). We simply state that these are kids we are going to adopt.

Strategic Sharing

jandcsmith2007's picture

I think it is important for children to be able to share their story but they should be educated in what is appropriate to share and what is not. We get questions all the time about the children we are fostering and soon to adopt. It's frustrating because people are so nosy!

Sharing

smittyar's picture

I think it is part of the child's life and they should share their past experiences and you should engage the child.

Strategic Sharing

scohorn's picture

Sharing information is so difficult because everyone wants to know what our foster babies have been through. People love sob stories and train wrecks... they like to rubber neck. But I like to talk about the more positive things, like how she has grown since being with us and what we are doing for the holidays. I love my kids like they are my own and we try to live like they are my own too. We acknowledge what they are going through and help them, but we try to dwell on positives and not negatives or things that make us sad.

Strategic Sharing

Ankromfamily1's picture

We have a different spin on this because we are currently fostering pre-verbal children. If we adopt them, however, we will need to educate them to possible responses to comments like, "you look like your mom" or "wow, you don't look like either of your parents". We've already gotten comments like that from strangers and I don't always know how to respond.

Why is Strategic Sharing Important to Me?

mmodlin's picture

I want my foster child to be able to share anything with me and to help them understand the boundaries of what information should be shared and with whom its okay to share it with. I don't want them to be ashamed of their story just wise in the way they share it

Why is Strategic Sharing Important to Me?

mmodlin's picture

I want my foster child to be able to share anything with me and to help them understand the boundaries of what information should be shared and with whom its okay to share it with. I don't want them to be ashamed of their story just wise in the way they share it

Strategic Sharing

epowell's picture

I believe that it very important for my foster kids to be able to share anything with me. All my kids love to share different things that has happen through out their life. Conversation is a great in many ways and very important when raising your children.

Although most of the

jncreech's picture

Although most of the information here is focused on strategic sharing on a larger scale, I think that it is so important to think about the smaller, daily conversations as well. Specifically, as kids are asked to do projects in school about family...this can create much anxiety and uncertainty about sharing, even if it is just with their teacher.

Strategic Sharing

Inneed41's picture

My 9 year old foster child has many stories to tell. I'm happy that she feels she can trust me with her stories and the assurance that I care. I let her tell me what's on her mind, no pressure on my part to bring up the past.

Strategic sharing

Jsgouris's picture

I am a foster parent of a teenager. When she shares memories they are usually good ones. I listen without interruption then after I ask one or two questions so she knows I'm interested. This keeps the conversation open so she can share more if she wants.

Strategic Sharing as a Foster Parent

maryblack08's picture

I feel like sharing my experiences as a foster parent will encourage others to become foster parents. We need parents who are willing to love these kids as their own so in sharing my story I hope others will know what is needed as foster parents.