__tlynn's picture

I have been in foster care for 3 years and I finally got adopted at age 12. I have two sisters that are younger then me. I tried so hard to be this perfect girl but all I did was the total opposite. I got into trouble a lot, didn't follow rules, and had attachment issues. I tried so hard to be apart of my family that I had to fake it. And I finally told them 3 years later I didn't like it here and that I wasn't happy. They weren't surprised. But a couple weeks ago I did something in order to get my phone taken away indefinitely because I did the same thing over again. So I walked around in silence hoping they would cool off but now they are getting more mad at me because I won't talk. Now she's talking about an adoption disruption. my mom is basically done, and I am too. I dont want to feel like im walking on egg shells once i step foot out of my room. my mom is considering it. the website said i would go back to foster care and its likely because of my age i wont get adopted, i would age out of the system. the website is dead on me for the child lists "older age, behavior problems, attachment issues"

Fixing this

pontes's picture

You are so aware of what's going on that I wonder why you can't fix this. Suggest family counseling. Your adoption worker should be working to help you fix this. Believe me, it's worth it. You go back into foster care, there is no telling where you go in the state. In my state, very few foster parents take older kids. Sometimes, older kids have to move hours away from their old school, bio family and friends. You need to know that some of your behavior is normal for your age and isn't even related to your adoption/attachment issues. Of course, that doesn't mean they should give you a pass. They shouldn't. But you also shouldn't feel like if I say or do one more thing wrong, I go back. You guys need a new understanding. That is probably not going to happen without intense professional help. Take a chance on permanency. Tell your parents you want to fix this with them and ask if they can contact your old adoption worker to see if they can recommend a good therapist. You deserve a family and need it more than you think.