I sit here thinking "What is it I can do in one week?" but what comes to mind is not relevant. Before this internship my life was very grey in my eyes. I would wake up and just go through the day in auto pilot. I wouldn't apply myself to my daily activities even though I had many important tasks to do such as being a college student, a board chairmen of Idaho's Foster Youth Advisory Board, a big brother to my siblings and a friend to the hand full of friends I have. I searched for a way out, a way to feel free. I began to recognize I wasn't treating myself with the love and respect I would preach to my peers on the daily. I realized I was being a hypocrite. I had a glimpse of my reality and decided to apply for the FosterClub All-Star internship. When I found out I was accepted I had no words to explain my happiness but also had no words to explain my fear.
I asked myself "If I was already living in auto pilot with the support I have, what makes me think I will apply myself to the internship?" I started to revaluate my life, my actions, and my support and woke up every morning telling myself "Ms, Hunnty you are worth it and you better werk." after i said that it was always followed by a "finger snap". For those of you that know me I am a "flamboyant male" or in other words a "sparkly gay". Yes, I identify as gay and I'm from Idaho which can explain why I lived in auto pilot. I don't have a good support system back home. I have at least one or two individuals that can relate to my life style. Not only am I gay but I am also a former foster youth which is another aspect of my life only a few can relate with. I decided to take that step in faith and to proceed with the internship.
Here I am writing this blog realizing I apply myself daily, living my life with people who understands my life style and appreciate who I am. Each All-Star and Staff has a piece of my heart. They created what I consider to be my tribe. Each day I am engaging and living my life in healthy ways and doing healthy activities. I just came back from OregonTeen Conference and gained even more support from adults and youth and gained self awareness of what I am truly capable of. I am still waking up saying "Ms, Hunnty you are worth it and you better werk." Live life with a purpose. If you don't stand for something, than you'll fall for anything.
Isaiah otherwise known as Zae.
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