Learning about permanency as an intern in 2010 was what I can only describe as amazing. Amazing for the fact that I realized I had it, that others go a lifetime without it, and, as of last week, realizing the full cycle of permanency. What do I mean by permanency?
To me, permanency means I have someone to call at 3 am when I am scared, someone to ask advice when I buy my first house, someone to give me the stern words needed to keep my butt in line, and someone who will always introduce me as "family". The beauty of permanence is that it looks different for everyone! You are allowed to have multiple permanent connections and those connections will be with you even when that person is no longer. My main permanent connection, my rock, and someone I am beyond grateful to call my mother passed away on July 7, 2017, from a very short battle with colon cancer.
My mother and father adopted me and my siblings in 1995. She quickly became more than my mother. She was my best friend, my support net, and my guardian angel. I know I have an exceptional story and experience for having someone so long in my life but it never seems enough. I have been fortunate to have her take me on my class field trips, encourage me to have sleepovers, cheer me on during graduation, encourage me to chase my dreams, and not even a month ago - walk me down the aisle as I married the love of my life. What I never thought about was that at some part of your life people will have to pass on... I know for me, that is something that does not make me comfortable to talk about. I also know that just because I do not talk about it does not mean it will not still happen.
When my mother passed away I felt lost and was not sure who to call or search for comfort from. That was until I realized that I now have that with my husband and siblings. The truly amazing thing to me is that somewhere in time I became that permanent connection for others in my family, without recognizing it. There are a few things that I have learned from my permanency experience and my mother...
1. Take every opportunity to deepen that connection with those people who look up to you or that you look up to.
2. Take every opportunity to show love, kindness, and compassion for that person and others.
3. Be proud that you have someone to look up to and eventually will look up to you.
Knowing that I have people who look at me for permanency is truly the highest honor. I hope that I am half as inspiring as my mother was to me. Lastly, I hope to be able to continue to learn from her advice she gave me while she was in my life. Being that special connection to someone should be looked at as a true honor and not be taken lightly. I hope all who find themselves in the position to be part of a young person's safety and support net embraces every second to ensure they know that the secret to a successful life is (and has always been) inside themselves.
Thank you, mom, for being more...
Love you in this life and the next,
P.S. Thank you to FosterClub for teaching me of what I have and to team FosterClub for allowing me the opportunity to take a month absence to be with my mother and family. #bestcompany #thankful #peacelovefosterclub #workfamily #family
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