What do i do when......
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ok long storie short my fmily and i where getting ready to et dinner and then my mom came home and started to complain about how much meat my sister took then they started fighting then my dad steped in and said stop to both my sister and mom becasue my mom told my sister she didnt want her there anymoore because she didnt like comming home and nither did my mom and then my mom went in the other room then my dad started yellin because my didnt stop when she was saposed to the she pushed her bowl in2 a glass of milk and then my dads face turned red and grabed my sister by the face and screamed in her face and told her to shut up and she started crying and in that process i yelled at him saying hey hey hey son on and so fourth then both my parents yelled at me and told me to go to my room and then i started crying because i was scared and then 5 min later he started talking to my sister and then after that he cam into my room of course my rood door was clesed and i sat behind i and then i move but not compleatly and he started talking and i said i wount let anything happen to my sister then he got mad and then my mom came and said it was the right thing i did and said well what did u expect you scard me i though u was going to hurt her and it just went on and my dad told me that the officer at my school gave him permission to use force if need be and i just walked away i dont know if i should go home or if i should go to a friends im so skeched out i dont know what to do and feel free to give advice on anything or leave a comment
posted May 29th, 2009
Hi Teenbrat, I posted a message to you under your "RSVP program" title on the message board. Read it there. Luv, Grannie Nonie
I do not understand much of what is happening to you. In NY, foster parents receive additional money for things like clothing, driving school, and year books. Is this different in Maine? I work for a foster care agency and our policy is "hands off" meaning, even if your parents are not charged criminally, the agency would take action. It scares me to think that you are going through this alone and have not found support. Please reach out to your school counselor and your caseworker. If they do not listen, keep talking until someone listens.
Well im not sure how the system works in maine i was taken from pa to here and ever sence then iv been living with my aunt and uncle and sister. I got adopted at 13 but thats aboiut it i dont really know how the system works but i know that it is a "hands on" sorta thing. in maine if a kid talks back or something nd the parents want to smack them they can but they cant leave any bruiseing or broken bones. The school officer at my school told my parents that if they need to use force to even get me or anyone else out of bed or anything they could use it. But he did say as long as there is a reason and no marks left or broken bones its not abuse or anything. As for the keep talking part i just told my self as soon as im 18 im moveing out. i cant bare livin there any more and i dont want to worrie about what may or may not happen to me or anyone else at my house. To be honest with you it freaks me out knowing that the state of main would actually allow something like this. Its like sayin abuse is legal and no one or no boday will help you. And thats what i dont get here in the state of maine. why people are so agmist abuse but they let it happen.
I live in Billerica Ma, and I can somewhat relate to what yu are going through. My parents yell and scream at me and they do strike me. I was adopted and they tell me they wish I was never born and that it "would be better off for everyone if I was dead" Currently, we are considering putting me in foster care and I would rather be there than at home. My folks are often drunk but when they get violent it scares me and I wanna defend myself and hit back. I'm 17 and afraid that no foster family will want to take me... However, I can give you some advice, don't let thesepeople, your parents, your sister, or anyone, keep you from being happy or reaching your dreams. I no this sounds corny but the sun will come out tommorrow. You have to keep going for yourself, you deserve it. Good luck to you.(BTW does anyone know if foster care will take you even if you are 17?- lots of love, sarah miller
well im sorry to hear that you parents(adoptive parents) dont want you and that just makes me mad that the state would let it happen. As for the age and foster system im not really sure because its different in all states. I mean here we can only be in hte system until 19 if you wannna stay for anouther year. But after that you kicked out. Now maines foster system if u did end up in maine they might take you and place you in a "good" home. I mean that. maine is very through about backround checks and what not. So its not like youll end up in a home that may or may not hurt you. And if anything if something was to go wrong you are allowed to call you case worker at anytime. and you may get replaced. And if anything here in maine you get to chooese who adoptes you so if you did end up getting adopted again the here it least you can pick who by.
Ps. thanks for the advice ill surely take that in and best wishes to you.
lots of love Alexis Hanlon
Hi Teenbrat,
This is also a must read. The last paragraph on page 23 tells about The Road to Independence Program (RTI) that may give you about $1,000 a month for expenses (like rent) while you are going to college or other schooling. it is important for you to find what programs are available in your state. Continuingyour education when you graduate high school - while there is still help available - will make all the difference to you for the rest of you life. Please learn about what is available in your area.
Hhttp://floridaschildrenfirst.org/pdf/OnYourOwnFinal.pdf
with lots of love, Grannie Nonie
hey grannie,
how are you good i hope? i just have a question how can you over come attchment problems and bitterness? im asking because i feel so bitter towrds my mom and not only that but im not attched to her as much as i would like to. I mean its really bad how i am towrds her its crazy. and iv tried real hard not to be this way but i am and i just dont understand y. anyway hope all is well and write back soon
with love Alexis aka teenbrat
yes i will deffintly try to keep the sister to sister talk a green light. i live in raymond and go to high school at whindham. No they dont offer classes for drivers ed you actually have to go some where to take the classes and i myself have to pay for it but my dad is paying for my sisters. iv have brought up going to collage to my parents but they dont really say anything. but however if i can not afford it then i will go to job corps. they do the same thing but you dont get a degree in anything but they help you get they job you want with experance behind you and they have rooms so its like living in your own house kinda thing. I however want a laptop so bad but i have to pay for that 2 and still i dont have enough money. when i work i only ge 1/3 of it while the rest goes towrds the house and my cloths. so really i dont have much to go on. as for fitting in i wont have to worrie about that for very much longer when i turn 18 i think my mom is kicking me out of the house (not compleatly sure). But that i dont mind iv wanted to leave that house the first time i walked in it. i know that sounds bad but i really dont think they want me here and i kinda feel like they are oblagated to take me in because im just related. and if i kept going i have a feeling they would ahve gave up with me 2.My coz jeffery is in foster cae and hes 17 also and the min he started acting out they gave up and put him in a group home. hes been there sence he was little and i knnow they know that he donesnt know how to act in a home becasue hes been there his whole life. so i kinda feel like if i did what he did they would have done the samething. and ever sence iv been here my mom has changed and i dont like it. i mean no matter how excited i get about doing something good all i get is a nod or a cool. no smile or anything. its hard to explane but anyway im probly talking your ear off so i hope you have a great night and a wounderful day tommrow!
with lots of love Alexis aka Teenbrat
hi Teenbrat,
so you and your sister talked - actually talked - not just said words to each other. I can not express to you how wonderful and important this is. My sisiter and I are both in our 60's and we have had our disagreements/fights, or whatever you want to call it, BUT we love each other very much, we have been there for each other throughout the decades - yes- decades - when we needed someone who cared for and loved us no matter what the problem or situation. She was there for me many times, and I was there for her many times. Other people in you life come and, sometimes, go, but you sister is always there, and always will be, even if sometimes you don't think so because you fought. Please try to keep that communication going. You need it and so does she.
Talk to your parents about college. They may not even know that you want to go. If this doesn't work for you, talk to you counselor at school. Also, your state may have free tuition for you to college. Florida has free tuition for all foster and adopted children, and it also has free tuition to Miami-Dade community college for children of parents who earn below a certain income. I know that this may not seem all that important to you at this time, but, please believe me, it is really, really, very, very important for your future. Also, you will have a lot more fun and meet a lot more friends at a college than working at some boring job. There are so many kids at college that you will find your group, your family, where you "fit in". We all have to find where we fit in. All of us feel that way. It breaks my heart that you feel that you don't fit in with your family that you live with now. You deserve to have that when you are growing up, but if you don't have it now, it doesn't mean that you won't ever have the feeling of fitting in. You just have to look for your group/family, and college is a good place to find them. please investigate going to college.
When I was in high school, they taught us driver's Ed in school. Don't they do that any more? It is extremely important that you take driving lessons and get you permit. How do you take driver's Ed in your town? What town do you live in? you absolutely must get your permit. Please give me more information about why you are not getting this vital training. What school do you go to? Do they offer driver's Ed as an extra class?
Have you ever heard of the term "Guardian ad litem" (it is Latin for "guardian at law"). Guardian ad litems are appointed by the courts to help children in foster care. If you don't have one, and it sounds like you don't, go on their website, guardianadlitem.org and ask for one. They have a "transition" program with their division called "Voices for Children" that helps kids that are turning 18 and have to "transition" from being a child to being an adult on their own. Here in Miami they gave away a bunch of lap tops this year and last year. Also, an organization called SHINE gave away lap tops. Please learn to check these things out and advocate for yourself. If you want something enough, you can find a way. Please look into going to college. Talk to everyone about it until you find someone that can help you. I'm hoping for the best for you. Good night sweetheart, with lots of love, Grannie Nonie
hi Teenbrat,
so you and your sister talked - actually talked - not just said words to each other. I can not express to you how wonderful and important this is. My sisiter and I are both in our 60's and we have had our disagreements/fights, or whatever you want to call it, BUT we love each other very much, we have been there for each other throughout the decades - yes- decades - when we needed someone who cared for and loved us no matter what the problem or situation. She was there for me many times, and I was there for her many times. Other people in you life come and, sometimes, go, but you sister is always there, and always will be, even if sometimes you don't think so because you fought. Please try to keep that communication going. You need it and so does she.
Talk to your parents about college. They may not even know that you want to go. If this doesn't work for you, talk to you counselor at school. Also, your state may have free tuition for you to college. Florida has free tuition for all foster and adopted children, and it also has free tuition to Miami-Dade community college for children of parents who earn below a certain income. I know that this may not seem all that important to you at this time, but, please believe me, it is really, really, very, very important for your future. Also, you will have a lot more fun and meet a lot more friends at a college than working at some boring job. There are so many kids at college that you will find your group, your family, where you "fit in". We all have to find where we fit in. All of us feel that way. It breaks my heart that you feel that you don't fit in with your family that you live with now. You deserve to have that when you are growing up, but if you don't have it now, it doesn't mean that you won't ever have the feeling of fitting in. You just have to look for your group/family, and college is a good place to find them. please investigate going to college.
When I was in high school, they taught us driver's Ed in school. Don't they do that any more? It is extremely important that you take driving lessons and get you permit. How do you take driver's Ed in your town? What town do you live in? you absolutely must get your permit. Please give me more information about why you are not getting this vital training. What school do you go to? Do they offer driver's Ed as an extra class?
Have you ever heard of the term "Guardian ad litem" (it is Latin for "guardian at law"). Guardian ad litems are appointed by the courts to help children in foster care. If you don't have one, and it sounds like you don't, go on their website, guardianadlitem.org and ask for one. They have a "transition" program with their division called "Voices for Children" that helps kids that are turning 18 and have to "transition" from being a child to being an adult on their own. Here in Miami they gave away a bunch of lap tops this year and last year. Also, an organization called SHINE gave away lap tops. Please learn to check these things out and advocate for yourself. If you want something enough, you can find a way. Please look into going to college. Talk to everyone about it until you find someone that can help you. I'm hoping for the best for you. Good night sweetheart, with lots of love, Grannie Nonie
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