age 17
from Illinois
is it just me or...........
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when you go to the doctor do you not feel like you get a voice.
I was sick on Wed. I had a 103 fever... my foster mother took me to the Doctor. The nurse was tying to ask ME questions. My foster mother kept answering them. Like she knew what i felt or what i had done.
I don't know if its wrong of me but it just annoys me.
posted Jul 3rd
It can be aggravating when you feel like your voice isn't being heard. Perhaps your foster mom was trying to be helpful by answering for you. I remember going to the doctor with my foster mother and feeling similar to what you were feeling. What I did was ask to speak to the doctor in private. My foster mom would get the hint. You may want to try that. Amplify Your Voice!!!
Well Shawn, my best advice is to more of tell you what I would do in your situation.
Before you go into any sort of doctor's office, let your foster mother, or whomever that your with know and understand that It's very important that you speak up for yourself. She may help, I guess the word could be 'facilitate' your doctor's visit, but they need to understand that you have something that needs to be taken care of. Let them know this in advance. Then while your at the doctors take charge, and amplify your voice. (that is FosterClub's theme this year) Because if you don't speak up for yourself, who will? Or at least to the point where the person speaking for you does not know how your truly feeling. (unless you share that information)
I hope this helps with your situation, and will help out in future circumstances. This is what I would do. Good luck!
Toby
Hello Shawn2010,
You have a voice start using it, take a moment and express your feelings to your doctor and your foster mother.
As a mother, we are accustomed to speaking for our children. When you have a child communication at the beginning is not always understood by other adults. As your child grows they lack the education to communicate what’s wrong with them or how they are feeling, as a mother you are accustomed to understanding your child’s needs with subtle grunts and signs, this is how speaking for your child begins. I automatically spoke on my children’s behalf without thinking for about 13 plus years to ensure they obtained what they needed and desired. Its when our children start becoming more independent that conflicts arise, as a mother speaking on behalf of our children for 13 plus years can easily become a habit and all habits are hard to break.
My children expressed their desire to speak for themselves differently. My daughter was a bit rude, started acting out and became a constant pain in the butt. I would shake my head and wonder if I could survive her teen years. My son was the one who helped me with my daughter, he simply sat me down and explained he could now speak for himself, he loved me with all his heart but it was time for him to grow not grow away but grow-up. With that little chat I understood my daughters rebellion, it was a full year (children’s age difference) before I sat my daughter down and explained I understand she needs to grownup and I will do my best to stop interfering as much.
Is it time for you to have a talk with your Foster Mother?
Sandra Roussel
Founder/Fresh Start Housing
freshstarthousing[dot]com
yes it is.... but not it isn't
I don't want to make her feel bad or upset her.... I have only been with her for just at six months. I don't want to strian the good placement I have.
Do you have any ideas that could help me??
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
-Carl Sandburg
Shawn,
[Do you have any ideas that could help me??]
Talking to your foster mother is how you can make things better.
Sandra Roussel
Founder/Fresh Start Housing
freshstarthousing[dot]com
Honestly Shawn that would annoy me as well because she is not in your body. She doesn't know what is going on with you. She might be able to discuss that you have a fever but when it comes to pain or the way your body feels she has no say. Since its something that is in the past, I would maybe just build up the confidence and let her know that you felt that you didn't have your voice heard in the doctors office and maybe for future reference, I appreciate your help but when it comes to how I feel, you are not capable of disclosing that. Does that help?
Jeremy 2009 Foster Club All Star
in a way yes.... in a way no.... I agree it is in the past but when this happens to every doctor or person we go to see it gettis really annoing..
I know she is trying to helo but i don't know if i want that help
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
-Carl Sandburg
i agree with u so its not just u and i think u should be able to get a voive but u have to remember that they are trying to do whats best for u 2 not what they think but i deffanitly agree we should be able 2 be heard
I look at it this way.... if she was Me then she should talk but if not then it should be up to me to tell the doctor how i feel or what is going on inside of me or things like that.... NOT HER
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
-Carl Sandburg
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