Greta

I’ve been home for a week now. It is nice rest in a queen size bed again, but it’s difficult to fall asleep without the sound of Heather’s fan and exhaustion driven giggle-fits with Erin. I miss Mariah saying “five more minutes” when I wake her up in the morning.

I’ve been meaning to write a blog about the end of the summer for a while, but honestly it’s been really difficult. Asking me to blog about the last three months is like asking someone who found faith where they found it at, and what it looked like. It’s not possible for me to do it any justice at all.

We bonded over bonfires,
Air Hockey,
And ice cream,
And somewhere in the midst of this,
12 strangers became a team.

We didn’t choose each other,
I guess most families happen that way,
We came into this unknowingly,
and I just want to stay.

I realize I’m messed up,
And you say you’re kind-of damaged, too,
You are the connections I was craving,

When I entered the foster care system, I was taken with ten minutes warning. Similar to many foster youth, the day I was removed from my home was one of the most traumatic days of my life.

I wrote this poem last semester for a class I took called "seminar on self growth." The class was basically about taking your past and claiming it unapologetically. I learned a lot about myself, and this poem was the synopsis of that discovery, so I thought I'd share it with you all. The assignment was to write an "I am from" poem and then to read it to our classmates.

Minne-snow-ta TLT conference!
The Minnesota teen conference was so refreshing. Prior to Minnesota, It had been a month since I did a teen conference, and I really missed having the opportunity to connect with youth. Minnesota reinforced why I missed it so much.

Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with gratitude. I think of what people have done for me and it’s beyond my comprehension. Why me? Why do they have more faith in me than I have in myself? Am I a phony, fooling people into seeing potential in me despite the fact that there isn’t any? No.

The fosterclub all-stars just got home from Seattle, where we presented to National CASA on why fosterclub is such an important organization. I have literally fallen in love with fosterclub over the course of this internship, and I couldn’t wait to show them why. Fosterclub is very easy to fall in love with.

Over the last couple weeks I have realized I struggle with saying no to people. I am the kind of person where if you ask me to do you a favor, I will say “sure!”, before I even know what the favor is. I will literally do anything and everything to make people love me, sometimes even when it hurts me. The idea of not being loved, or lovable is scary as heck to me.